What the History Channel has Taught Me About Jesus

By Paul Cat

1. He never existed.
2. He did exist, but he was only a man.
3. He was gay.
4. He was a woman.
5. He was married to Mary of Magdeline (I guess this makes him a lesbian.)
6. His real father was a Roman soldier named Pantera who secretly knocked up Mary.
7. He really just repacked Hinduism and Buddhism.
8. The Gospels are simply the sum total composite image of Christ from the early Christian communities. Therefore he was not God, but was mistaken for being God …

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