Three Rules of Romance

By Jason Boyett

Well, kids, it’s Valentine’s Day. Wheee. I like Valentine’s Day about as much as I like regular teeth-cleanings or paying taxes. Which is to say: very little. But I do my duty in regard to these things, because failing to do so will get me into trouble.

Now, the first thing you should know is that I’m not, generally speaking, a thoughtless jerk. On pages that look pretty similar to this one, I’ve argued that chivalry and gentlemanliness may look different today than it used to, but it’s no less important. I also admit to having been married now for several years. And that combination of qualities — being gentlemanly and being married — carries certain requirements. It’s a short list:

1. I have to kill spiders, beetles or any other creeping things that make their way, uninvited, into our home.
2. I have to take out the trash.
3. I have to acknowledge the existence of Valentine’s Day.

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