Stuff Christians Like: Doubting Doubt

By Jon Acuff
 
Real Christians don’t doubt. Everyone knows that. If you’ve got doubt in your heart, even a smidge, well then, I’m sorry, you’re still a “baby Christian.” I’ll pray for you, I’ll pray that someday you’ll be an “on fire Christian” and not be so wracked with doubt, because us real Christians never feel doubt.
 
We wake up in the morning and instantly remember all the other times God has come through. When we are faced with challenges, we don’t fear. We don’t worry. We certainly don’t doubt. You know what I do when I run into a difficult time? I giggle. I pick up that challenge in my hands and tickle it’s belly like an adorable little kitten. Because I live a doubt free life. Like every Christian should.
 
Because otherwise, if you do find doubt in your heart, you better hide that under the bed. Or between your mattresses, God never thinks to look there. But if He does, if He does find doubt in your heart, I hope, for your sake, you’ll be thrown in the regular lake of fire instead of the lake of fire where you have to spend all of eternity noodlin’ for alligator gar. (Noodlin’ is the “sport” where you walk in lakes/rivers and jam your hands down holes in the ground with the hope that a giant catfish will bite you, allowing you to pull it out and capture it. In Africa they have a version of this that involves lions but instead of “noodlin’” it’s called “dyin’”. An alligator gar is some crazy type of fish I just saw on a show called “River Monsters” in which a biologist spends an entire hour trying to catch, you guessed it, a “river monster.” Whole show should take 7 minutes. I think I just broke the legal length limits of parenthesis.)
 
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